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This short story, written by Olli Tammilehto, has been published in Finnish in Kulttuurivihkot no. 3/2025. (Origineal Finnish version) You can republish it in English or in any other language but you should first inform the author.

The most secure country in the world

The Finnish government had a difficult question to ponder: International comparisons no longer showed Finland to be the happiest country in the world. Something had to be done to restore the country's reputation. Minister of Defense Matti Miekkanen came up with a brilliant idea: make Finland the most secure country in the world: increase defense spending to 25 percent of GDP! If about half of tax revenues were spent on weapons, Finland would be at the top of the military spending statistics. Other ministers were very enthusiastic about Miekkanen's idea. Prime Minister Taisto Kallio immediately ordered all ministers to draw up bold cutback plans in their own branches of government. A ministerial group was established to revise the following year's budget so that the deteriorating security situation in the world would be fully taken into account.

In Parliament, all parties welcomed the government's new policy. However, the Greens insisted that weapons should only be ordered from eco-certified companies. The Left Alliance insisted that weapons purchases should be directed to companies that take workers' rights into account. The Christians emphasized that arms cooperation should be carried out primarily with companies headed by well-known Christians. The Center Party, in turn, was concerned that soldiers using the new weapons would receive full-fledged domestic food. The Finns Party, on the other hand, demanded that foreign trainers accompanying the weapons must be representatives of the white race.

Finland immediately began ordering all possible weapons from the USA and other NATO countries, as well as from Israel: fighter jets, bombers, submarines, warships, drones, tanks, cannons, missiles, and other necessary equipment. The most efficient killing machines began to flow into Finland, and security increased and increased.

However, the government soon realized that there were serious shortcomings in the Western arms markets: most military technology companies had full order books and delivery times were getting longer. Other NATO countries were also arming themselves and there were not enough weapons for everyone. Achieving the 25% share of GDP now seemed in jeopardy. At the same time, rumors began to circulate that US weapons had kill switches remotely controlled via Starlink satellites, which would make war impossible when the US did not consider it to be in its own interests.

The government pondered this dilemma week after week. Finally, Foreign Minister Ulla Ulpunen came up with a solution: let's order a part of the weapons from Russia! There was plenty of production capacity there and the US and Russian kill switches would probably not be on at the same time, so some weapons would always be operational. Accusations of supporting Russia’s war could be countered by saying that importing weapons from a neighboring country would concretely reduce Russia’s weapons arsenal. The government immediately warmed up to Ulpunen’s proposal. Ministry of Defense officials immediately began contacting Russian authorities and weapons manufacturers.

A few months later, the first cargo of weapons arrived at the Vaalimaa border post, where the border barrier was raised with solemn formalities. Soon all other closed border crossings were opened so that there would be no obstacles to the flow of weapons from Russia. A few years later, the 25% share of military spending was reached. The Finns celebrated: they now lived in the most secure country in the world.

Unfortunately, the festive atmosphere did not last long, as dark clouds began to gather above the Government Palace again. More and more old people were seen begging on the streets of the cities, their pensions having been sacrificed on the altar of national defense. All shops had to hire guards with heavy weapons to at least somehow keep the wave of theft caused by minimizing unemployment benefits under control. Poor families could no longer afford to send their children to school, when tuition fees had been introduced at all levels of education. Mortality rates increased and birth rates fell as a result of heavy cuts to healthcare and social security. The hard-won national defense consensus began to be broken by heretical voices, according to which it was no longer necessary to invest 25% of the national product in the army, because arms purchases from all directions had created good relations with all countries.

The government felt that it was not able to solve the social crisis that had arisen on its own. Fortunately, the prime minister, who had studied political history, remembered the Korpilampi seminar, which the Kalevi Sorsa cabinet had held in the 1970s. It was now decided to organize a new, broad-based seminar at the Korpilampi Hotel in Espoo, which would outline Finland's way out of the crisis. The sharpest minds from the civil service, business, civil society and academia were invited.

Hundreds of speeches were made on the first day of the Korpilampi II seminar, but they did not get very far. After a well-eaten and drunk evening and a short night, the tired seminar participants gathered for the first session of the morning. The atmosphere was not bright. The first speaker was Pontus Vanharaunio, professor of ancient history. He told how social crises had been resolved in the Roman Empire. Vanharaunio suggested that similar methods should be used in Finland.

The conference participants were extremely enthusiastic about the professor's proposal, which was codenamed PEC (an abbreviation for the words panem et circenses). Almost everyone wanted to speak in support of it. Representatives of the business community announced that they were ready to participate in the implementation of the PEC. At the end of the seminar, the government was obliged to continue the preparation of the PEC and to bring the matter to the Parliament as soon as possible.

A year after the seminar, the first PEC stadium began to rise on the outskirts of Helsinki. It was enormous: an oval field the size of eight football fields, surrounded by tiered stands that could hold 300,000 people. Even large vehicles could drive into the middle of the stadium through tunnels under the stands. The entire structure had an opening glass roof.

On the opening day, people started pouring into the stadium early in the morning. Free bus services had already left from Northern Finland the night before. The show was free, so pensioners and the unemployed were also able to attend. Military helmets were handed out to all spectators at the gate. There were hundreds of soup cannons in the aisles of the stands, from which free pea soup was offered. In front of each seat was a recess from which you could get free ryecrisp.

The President of the Republic, Risto Rajakivi, gave a ceremonial opening speech, in which he emphasized that the PEC Stadium had made the most secure country in the world even more secure. After the orchestra played Finlandia, the show began.

The Whites, fighting with Western weapons, rushed onto the field from one end of the stadium, and the Reds, fighting with Russian weapons, from the other. The noise was intoxicating as tanks rumbled on the field and machine guns crackled.

The stadium roof opened and every seat automatically turned into a bed. Spectators watched as Russian and American fighter jets and drones clashed above the stadium.

The audience was overjoyed to be in the middle of a real battle. Although fragments of grenades and other weapons occasionally flew into the stands, this did not worry them too much, as a thousand medics were taking care of the wounded.

After the show, a well-fed and happy crowd poured out of the stadium. However, the satisfaction was marred by a debate about whether the Reds or the Whites had won. The debate continued in pubs, workplaces and the media for many months. The final truth would only be revealed when researchers from the War College had carefully analyzed the damage to both sides' equipment and crews.

The following government sessions were filled with smiling faces. The prevailing policy was now supported even by the poorest sections of the population. The construction of the PEC stadium had increased defense spending, so the 25% share had now been exceeded! The show and the entire PEC concept had aroused immense interest abroad, and the media wrote about them constantly. Arms companies and armies from all over the world had contacted the Finnish authorities, and their representatives wanted to be at the next show.

The government decided to organize a special show for foreign military experts. It would not be free, but the entrance fee would be thousands of euros. Quick calculations by the Ministry of Finance showed that the income from the special show could be used to build a new PEC stadium in Tampere or Turku. The decision would be made by which city could convert fastest a sufficiently large park or residential area to serve national defense.

A few years passed. Finland's innovative security policy was adopted around the world. PEC stadiums began to be built in numerous countries. Since the purchase of weapons from all directions had improved relations between East and West, the Swedish government decided that it would no longer purchase weapons in the same quantities as before. Therefore, it began building a PEC stadium, in which the weapons would not be destroyed in the shows and the costs would therefore be significantly lower: real tanks and planes were to be replaced with three-dimensional hologram images, and the sounds of shells and the smell of gunpowder were to be created with fireworks.

The change in the neighboring country's defense policy aroused great indignation and contempt in the Finnish parliament and media. The future piece of junk should not be called a PEC stadium under any circumstances. The Swedes, who have not experienced war for two hundred years, once again did not understand military matters at all. Cheap shows would drastically reduce defense spending as a percentage of the national product, and Sweden's security would be significantly weakened.

Finland stayed the course and did not relax. Gradually, foreign arms companies began to move their production to Finland, and large factories were built right next to the PEC stadiums. Gross domestic product grew and employment remained at a high level. The well-being of citizens was modest, but of course something had to be sacrificed in order to live in the most secure country in the world.

08.09.26

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The most secure country in the world

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